Quote Misquote

“I don’t know it with certainty, but if you can get past the blankness and buggery, I suppose, there’s lot of complimentary processed bugs.”

–Franz Kafka

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“My disbelief in dog and doghood is heightened time and again by the existence of cat and cathood.”

–William Seward Burroughs II

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“Go digital. Why author at the expense of the reader’s bleeding ink.”

–Attributed to Warren Girard Ellis

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“I is other people.”

–Jean-Paul Charles Aymard Sartre

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“Universe is only human.”

–Jorge Francisco Isidoro Luis Borges

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“You shall not have dominion over anything or anybody except yourself.”

–A Tribal God, having come into its senses

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“If you are not with us, you are without us?”

–You Know Who

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“I am tao.”

–Brian Cohen, to the perplexed spectators, in Monty Python’s The Meaninglessness of Wife

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“When I stand up to think, there comes into view crystal clearly the presence of many minds.”

–Philip Kindred Dick

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“It’s lie.”

–Edward Barney, on the proper pronunciation of the word life

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“It is fatalistic to have a plot and capitalistic to have sub-plots.”

–Subimal Misra, Infinite Finitudes of Post-Industry Establishments

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“The primary role of a leader is to applaud when the public speaks.”

–Terence Vance Gilliam

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“Be fragmatic.”

–Bernardo Soares

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“Why does my pepsi taste fishy?”

–Attributed to Lana Del Rey

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“Tell me about it.”

–The Canvassing Politician

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“It shouldn’t come as a surprise if I say, after millennia of our existence and centuries of so-called civilization, we still don’t know the proper way to copulate.”

–Susan Sontag, Polynesian Grooms

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“So then, it must be noted, even Dostoievski, or Tolstoy for that matter, was not a realist.”

–Viktor Borisovich Shklovskii

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“How can you not see Family is a breeding ground for many a corruption and evil?”

–Jesus of Nazareth, writing in the sand, beneath the men brandishing stones

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“We wear many hates.”

–Robert Allen Zimmerman

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“I sing the body electronic.”

–Amon Adonai Santos de Araújo Tobin

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“Would you prefer my calling that state, of your mermaid and merman post-coitus, merlaid.”

–Douglas Noel Adams

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“I knew a man who’d much rather be a fly trapper. Did I say flytrap? Yes, I did.”

–Dr. Gregory House

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“I don’t know if you can see it, but it’s supposed to be invisible.”

–Jean-Luc Godard’s Lemmy Caution

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“Most cases of Martyrdom fall under either suicide by state, public or ex-brethren.”

–Elaine Pagels, née Hiesey

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“Man is not a machine. I couldn’t shut down and boot you and then not get myself locked up for it.”

–Avul Pakir Jainulabdeen Abdul Kalam

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“The book is reading a woman.”

–Luis Buñuel Portolés

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“The mad ones that live and love to come inside women coil out of repulsion at the mention of withdrawal. There, method—it becomes a thing of dread.”

–A Post-AIDS sexologist

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“You just simply couldn’t undermine what I call the-book-of-revelation fetish that’s so infectiously prevalent.”

–Anonymous

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“Mistrust salutes, and absolutes all the more, all the time.”

–François-Marie Arouet

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“There are as many authenticities as there are people. I know a globetrotter would disagree. S/he would likely say there are many authenticities per person.”

–Attributed to Gilles Deleuze

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“I get the whiff of Baudelaire’s fleeting Modernity from the distant foreseeable future. That’s perhaps the state we’ll be forever stuck in. That’s unless the Body Capital happens to run itself dry. Which is to say it will be never or too late.”

–James Graham Ballard

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“Humankind is the end. Certainly not the center. Even more certainly not the beginning.“

– Simone Weil

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