In SmokeLong Quarterly’s 40th


Cover art “Carjacking” by Mark Maggiori

You wouldn’t for once be wrong about judging a mag or book, vide SmokeLong Quarterly’s 40th issue, as: Deep and Clever, solely by its cover. While I must remain nonjudgmental about the “story” of mine featured in there, I needn’t vouch for the rest of the stories in there, either. I mean, the cover. The cover! THE COVER


Fragments from the Documents of Clinics for Film Addicts


Pre-Edit Fragments Scribed by (an angry) Transcriptionist A: From B-Priority Dictations

Ms. Jane expressed anxiety over whether Her Knot Over Her Hose would be a bollock buster. She said her aunt thought Our Tea sucks.

Johnnie thinks he would feel suicidal if he or aunt washed Geodon down _____ Retail Nation. He is fine. His mother is in sedation. Coat-on-coat Keith from All Squeals Free this year saves hip and buys proper tabloid _____ citing

To change the part of the name that is firm _____. The movie is requested by my Zee browse key. The researcher in turn said she does not watch films anymore, so it is a record. She also suggested invalid gems such as Thesis Dud Who Shot ____ Two Dead, Who Fetched Bicycles Indoor for the Renovation, Who Said No to What You _____ Think First. Get back the

Mr. Joe has no regrets about feeling clean to spick after Eva Died. He wonders he would watch another comedy ever again.

Mysq Omar has guilt feelings about tolerating Grandmother’s Sister. She thinks Sony the Young is better than coat-uncoat Salman Khan.


Same Fragments Post-Edit, Edited by (an unlucky) Editor Z

Ms. June expressed anxiety over whether or not The Host would be a blockbuster. She said her aunt thought RT sucks.

John thinks he would not feel suicidal if he were not to watch G.I. Joe: Retaliation. He finds his mother’s suggestion “keep from all the sequels and prequels this year, save up and buy a proper tablet” much exciting.

This is with regard to considering once again the change of our clinic name, the part of the name that is Film to Movie, as requested by Ms. Zebrowski, the research intern. She says they do not so much film anymore as record it. She also suggested we invite Jarmusch (the one-shot dude from Bored to Death who _____ bicycled indoor) for the renovation. I said no. What do you think? First, get back to me on

Joel has regrets about feeling cleansed, so to speak, after Evil Dead. He wonders if he should catch that comedy there again.

Ms. Kumar has no guilt feelings about torrenting The Grandmasters. She thinks Tony Leung is hotter than “Salmon Chan”.


A Concept of Art Unrealysed, Yet Another Realized

[Instructions sent to real artists concerning a story involving a fictitious authoress]


  • Let it be a collage
  • May it be a collage on a gray template
  • Please align in grids preferably vertically (than horizontally) illustrations (digital or otherwise, and not photographs, so as to give it a ‘comic book’ feel) of, say:
  • Tufts of human hair or hairdos of various kind in one row,
  • In another phases of the moon, so on
  • But please do leave the top and the bottom rows empty (color gray intact), so as to let bits of adjacent grids bleed into the empty grids (making sure they bleed in just halfway or less allowing those rows to remain mostly empty)
  • Feel free to use disparate articles in a row following a row of analogous articles
  • Always do pick part of an article for the illustrations instead of the whole, i.e.:
  • Human ear and not human face, bird’s tail and not the bird, leaves and not tree, mouth of a faucet dripping rust and not the entire faucet, so on
  • Let one row be dedicated to words from the story in grids, in reverse:
  • (Loud)(Remain)(To)(Right)(The)(Have)(You)
  • The words can in fact be placed across, emanating with (You) from the lower left corner above the empty grid, crossing straight or skipping grids up and down alternately culminating with (Loud) at the left top corner, barely just below that empty grid
  • Do please try not to define grids with borders
  • Let the borders be implicit than explicit
  • Also be sure to pick what’s ‘not beautiful’ (for instance:
  • A portion of polluted pond, rough diamond, fractured bone, so on) with every choice of what’s ‘beautiful’
  • You may pick up cues from the images of the story for illustrations but if so do so, intermittently, only half the time
  • Please, again, align them vertically, the top and the bottom rows (with or without grids) shall be empty to half empty (in color gray) and keep it a collage of illustrations, not photographs, although in retrospect few photographs could be thrown in, but just a few
  • As for the number and size of grids and rows, it is up to you, you may choose what is feasible and satisfactory
  • For hues, please take inspiration preferably from the Velvet-purple Coronet
  • And do abundantly pick red saffron/crimson (instead of blood red)


  • PS: If this is proving to be taxing, you may as well go with, say:
  • A piece of psychedelic puzzle art
  • Precisely, a multi-colored illustration of a woman, with some puzzle grids missing, certainly keeping the grids involving head, eyes, ears, mouth, and left hand all intact